Thursday, May 25, 2006


Baseball Starts Again, NOOOO!

Am I the only person in the world who hates baseball, with a passion? Look, I'm not an intolerant person. I tend to be one of those people who is cool with stuff as long as nobody comes and tries to force it on me or get me to like it. And I love November, because it's the month when (a) there is no more baseball FINALLY!! and (b) it's Thanksgiving. I have become convinced that if global warming ever takes over the world, such that there is no more rain, then baseball will be played year-round -- because these guys just can't get enough of themselves, just can't play enough games, just can't have enough boring highlights on SportsCenter.

I hate watching SportsCenter during baseball season. I only watch SportsCenter to see highlights of college and pro football games, or college and pro basketball. Yet, Sportscenter is a disorganized piece of grabastic amphibian shit. They pollute their entire broadcast with all these crappy baseball highlights that they stick willy-nilly in-between the football and basketball highlights in order to fluff up the program, forcing you to watch the entire thing.

Look, football is very nice. It has its games one day a week and on that day I would like to watch all of the highlights from that day in a contiguous form, unsullied by heretical baseball bullshit. I don't want to see fat, steroided-up monsters playing baseball, I want to see them playing football. Basketball has more games, sure, but still I want to watch just the NBA highlights on a given day, rather than sit through the horrendous diarrhea of baseball clips that shittifies every SportsCenter between April and October.

To be fair, this is more SportsCenter's fault than it is baseball's. Yet I can't really bite the hand that feeds me. I mean, as biased towards USC as SC may be, as pompous as the anchors may be, and as much as they may think they are funny while in fact they are not, they still remain the purveyors of a wanted commodity. Yet if they were coke dealers they would cut their shit with ammonia powder.

This is SportsTirade, not some bullshit candy-ass blog, and I will speak my mind about the heresy that is SportsCenter. I do not suggest that it should be taken off the air, but I think that baseball should have its own section during SportsCenter such that those of us who do NOT want to EVER see another baseball highlight for the rest of our lives can not have to in order to see Vince Young demolish the Patriots next season.


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